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A low-libido wife — or any low-libido woman — may not want it as much as you do, but she probably can’t explain why, so you feel a sense of dread.
Maybe it’s a simple misunderstanding. After all, men and women tend to assume their body’s rhythmic, desire-arousal-orgasm cycle is absolute. Taking the time to learn how to work with her body, as it is can bring your sex life back into sync.
In order to remedy a woman’s low-libido experience, here are some steps you can take:
If a woman is experiencing low libido, this doesn’t necessarily mean she’s a sexual distancer; she’s may simply not be an equal sexual pursuer. Focused seductive energy may be necessary to keep her activated.
In the Canadian Medical Associations Journal, sex researcher Rosemary Basson explains normal female reactions throughout the sexual cycle. Spontaneous desire is more common at the beginning of a relationship and at certain times during her cycle, but it tends to decrease as a woman gets older.
As women age, receptive or “triggered” desire can replace spur-of the-moment sparks. You and your woman can learn to “trigger” her intentionally using imagination, erotic reading, and/or advance planning. R.”
Low-libido women are frequently sexually neutral at the beginning of sex but often motivated to please their partner. “I love him and want to make him happy,” explain many clients whose husbands wish their wives “really wanted it.” Many male commenters on this blog state how unacceptable this is.
For the delicious craving he feels at the start of sex to be unreciprocated may be unthinkable to a man. But can it really be considered dysfunctional if one third of all women rarely experience the same initial craving?
If a woman’s uptake is slower than the 90-second sex clip portrayed in most movies, why don’t you try a little patience? The outcome can be just as wild and passionate, even if she’s not excited when you begin. Isn’t a little patience worth the chance of finally turning her on and achieving sexual harmony?
If you are a male pursuing a woman with a low sex drive, focus on what went right during your sexual experience, and compliment her. When encouraged, a woman can relax and focus on the pleasure of sex.
If your woman begins to have positive sexual experiences that result in closeness, physical pleasure, and even orgasms, she’ll begin to anticipate more good experiences. If her husband or sexual pursuer communicatesjoy and satisfaction with their last sexual encounter, a woman will tend to feel that sex is worth the mental effort it takes to get her body in drive.
A woman’s distractibility in bed is grossly impacted if she lacks an emotional connection to her partner. Translation: if you’re in a fight; she won’t be able to get aroused should she even say yes to sex. Think twice about trying to initiate sex after having a fight.
If you’re still getting the silent treatment a day or so post-squabble, you’ll need to find a way to make it up to her so she feels connected again. Even if she agrees to make up, it won’t be time for hot sex until she feels that deeper connection.
Orgasm may not be your woman’s goal. Stop and read that last sentence again. She might want something else out of the encounter.
Most male clients say, “I want it to be good for her; I want her to climax, too.” Lovely. Got it. Your attitude is right on the money… Except when she doesn’t care about climax.
Women find great pleasure in the physical interconnection possible through sexual intercourse. They enjoy feeling you inside of them. Let your woman have that while enjoying it thoroughly — without forcing her to fulfill your agenda.
Earlier, I said that a slow start could ignite plenty of passion, but it may not always be a good night for her. If her mindset is, “Let’s just get it over with so I can get some sleep,” you might ask her to choose something else.
If your woman isn’t immediately ready to go, she could be a slow-libido woman, not a low-libido one. After all, arousal comes before desire. Often, once you take the time to arouse a woman so she’s fully into the experience, she will eventually reach her peak.
A slower–to-get-there woman can absolutely feel desire, which iswhen her willingness turns into craving. Once you’ve taken the time to arouse her and distractions are gone you can proceed to genital touching and it will feel good.
When a man is erect – he knows he’s horny. But realize that some women are unaware of her physical signs of arousal. She may not notice when she’s lubricated or swollen, or realize that’s a sign that she’s ready for sex.
Reinforce what you observe about her physically by talking about it. Ask her to focus on her sexiest thoughts, and help her connect her feelings to her increased physical arousal. Oral sex (both kinds) can also work well here to arouse her and increase her bodily awareness.