What Is Family Therapy

Family therapy; what is is all about? So many people could use a third party to help when things get tough at different developmental stages in a family. Maybe there are disagreements about how to discipline the children.  Or one child seems to be more quiet and withdrawn whereas the others seem well adjusted.  Sometimes the children start to act out when there are stressors on the family due to job loss, marital tension, or deployment – and the parents could use some support. We are taught in our culture to tough it out and not ask for help. Maybe we even feel ashamed that we don’t know what to do.  But families don’t come with manuals. Sometimes we just need help us get on track again and family therapists are trained to understand families as a whole.

What is Family Therapy?

Family therapy is counseling for all members (or a subset of members) of a family. It’s an opportunity for the group to discuss deep-seated issues with the help of a professional liaison. No one gets blamed. In fact the empathy that a family therapist brings to the feelings of all parties is the bridge that helps them all understand each other and find a way through as a unit.

Why Would a Family Need Therapy? 

Several reasons, but mostly to heal relationships, to discover unspoken assumptions and rules, to reestablish a sense of closeness. Most of us just do what our parents did. If our families of origin were successful, we might be puzzled why things aren’t working for us. If our families of origin were sad, dysregulated by alcohol or drugs, unemployment, or divorce, we may strive to not repeat the problems but not really know what creates strong bonds.  Here is a common scenario of a family dynamic in need of therapy as a family:

A parent has discovered their youngest son is using marijuana, and as a result, his grades have plummeted. As a concerned parent, you confront him about it, but the best information you can get from him is a shrug and close-ended responses like “I dunno, nothing.” Your partner thinks the child needs stronger discipline and more management. 

You’re harried, working as hard as you can, and spread pretty thin already. This issue is the last problem you need, but your child needs help. 

Family therapy can help by highlighting the importance of thinking about each person in a family as a system – considering everyone’s needs, opinions, and feelings. We will listen to each parent bringing their expertise on their family.  Together, we can analyze the patterns of behavior to see if there might be better pathways. This helps the family work toward functioning as a unit and to feel closer on an emotional level. Once there is understanding – problem solving becomes easier.

How Does Family Therapy Work?

At Awakenings, we see the parents as the executive branch of the family. As a result, we often start sessions with the parents alone before establishing sessions for the entire family. When the family sessions begin, our licensed family therapists will never usurp your authority. In fact, we think families in therapy need clear boundaries in order to thrive. 

When attending therapy as a family, our therapists want to help make interactions with your children warmer and more attuned, and therefore more successful. We want to offer the guidance necessary so that anger and nagging is not the primary motivator in a family to inspire change. 

Therapists have gentle ways to point out how sometimes one parent may feel like they are being nice and understanding, but their co-parent feels hung out to dry. Attempting to keep the peace is understandable and a protective strategy, but sometimes it can backfire. Therapist can help you find more creative strategies to help.

As things progress and depending on the age of the offspring, the therapist might want to have a session or two alone with the child(ren). The same idea applies to all live-in family members like grandparents or aunts/uncles. Usually there are several sessions with everyone who lives in the home present.  Even small children can contribute understanding.

Will I be Judged During Therapy Sessions?

The answer to this frequently asked question is a reverberating no. Parenting is hard. Really hard! It’s one of the hardest jobs in the world, and no one is born with a book of instructions. Awakening’s therapists understand and validate this fear as justified. 

In a world heavily dictated by what we see on social media, it’s important to remind ourselves frequently that that world isn’t real. The majority of people want to show the best side of their lives to the world, not the chaos. 

When someone’s daughter won’t eat anymore and looks so thin that they lose sleep at night because of the stress, or when a son is struggling to make friends finally does but with kids who seem to  have sketchy character – we can worry as parents. How about that old high school buddy that gave birth at a young age and now struggles to communicate with her offspring, or the family struggling to adapt to the correct nonbinary terminology for their child in transition? These are not things you’re going to see on Facebook!  Every family has challenges.

There are so many issues seemingly working against modern families daily – ergo, there is zero judgment here. We genuinely want to help you make sense of all the frustrations, anger, and hopelessness. With the guidance of a therapist, therapy as a family is a battle to be won together.  

Which Theory of Family Therapy is Best?

Discovering the best type of therapy for your family is an important decision. The theories or methods the therapist will choose to implement in family sessions should be taken seriously. The good news is you don’t have to reinvent the wheel when it comes to parenting. 

The popular Attachment Theory is the most scientifically proven theory and one the majority of Awakenings therapists lead with. Our licensed employees aim to foster and create stronger feelings of love and loyalty within your family unit. We want to help repair the ruptures and restore those familial bonds. 

Currently, Awakenings offers several therapy services if you are considering therapy as a family.  Give us a call, and we can help you decide who would be the right fit for your family and get you an immediate appointment.