by Matthew Wilson, LMFT
Wherever we turn, we are told to “trust our gut.” Friends and family encourage us to listen to our instincts, and when we don’t, things often go awry. Why is this seemingly simple advice so persistent? Can it really be good guidance? The good news is that the stomach is a powerful and intuitive way to connect with and listen to our nervous system. Neuroscience is only beginning to explore the connection between the mind and the gut, but we are learning that “trust your gut” really means “let your nervous system give you insight.”
- The Nervous System Regulates Our Bodies
Our nervous system manages our everyday needs, such as digesting, breathing, and engaging in sexual activity. But when we become activated, it switches into fight-or-flight mode to protect us. Pupils dilate, blood flows toward our extremities, and brain activity shifts away from logical processing to immediate survival responses. The nervous system is both highly sensitive and flexible in how it reacts to perceived threats.
- Gut Feelings Are the Nervous System’s Alarm System
When we trust our gut, we are actually listening to the nervous system’s subtle signalsthrough our bodies. If we are stressed, anxious, or afraid, our body prepares for attack—even if no real danger exists. It doesn’t know if there’s a bear chasing us or if we’re simply in a tense conversation; it reacts the same way.
- Gut Feelings Appear in Different Forms
The gut is a major source of information, but a “gut feeling” can emerge in many ways: tight shoulders, nervousness, goosebumps, balmy hands, or a sinking feeling in the stomach. These are all ways our bodies communicate something is off, even if we don’t immediately know what.
- Gut Instincts Need Interpretation
When we listen, our body gives us valuable information, but the challenge is discernment. A gut feeling may tell you something is off, but it cannot tell you exactly what. We may sense something unusual in our partner, spouse, or friends, but is it betrayal or just secrecy for a surprise? The nervous system picks up on hidden signals, but it doesn’t always get the meaning right.
- Past Attachment Injuries Can Distort Gut Reactions
Over time, if we have experienced multiple attachment injuries, our nervous system may become hypervigilant, presuming foul play at every sign of change. In couples therapy, we sit down next to our partner and experience the same tone, movements, and facial expressions that have triggered us before. A therapist’s role is to slow down these warning signs and help translate them accurately.
Conclusion: Trust Your Gut, But Help It Attune
Our nervous system is a remarkable tool for insight, but it must be refined and trained. We can learn to feel safe again, rebuild trust, and fine-tune our nervous system’s responsesso that we can pick up on what is truly happening. Trust your gut—but also explore, attune, and interpret it wisely.
