Are you tired? Can’t possibly quit and take a nap?
It’s the holidays and I took a nap yesterday. No, that’s not a euphemism for afternoon delight. I simply ignored the world and rested. I’m supposed to bring three homemade things to three different events today …nothing got done. If I hadn’t I’d have been too tired for sex and sex is really important to me.
In an article on menopause and low libido in PychCentral, Rick Nauer reports that Dr. Susan D. Reed, associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology and epidemiology at the University of Washington has revealed new research showing lack of sleep as an independent factor in low libido in peri and post-menopausal women. Confirming what we’ve expected, [lighting bolt!] tired women are too tired for sex!
But sometimes we are tired by our own making, by our own expectations, by burdens of community contributions that have left us exhausted. We can race through the season with little joy and less peace, eating too much, spending too much and resting too little.
Because I rested, yesterday when I went to a Christmas party with my husband, I had fun. I had energy to dress up and look good. I had energy to flirt and laugh with him. We had a great time. And the salad I picked up at Whole Foods and the store-bought dressing for the luncheon? — everyone thought it was a hit and wanted the recipe! It even gave me something to eat amidst the calorie-laden, creamed-up casseroles. And today my husband and I had energy and time for each other.
The in-laws are coming and you want the house to shine? Hand Mema a sponge for the bathrooms if she complains — maybe after a shot of eggnog with bourbon. Tell yourself — anyone who notices it is elected to clean it. Of course, I’m serious. Drop your expectations of perfection around the holidays. Your neighbors won’t complain if the lights aren’t up. No one but you will know that every corner isn’t decorated. A good rule of thumb for decorations — less is more… if it takes more than 2 hours to put away, you put out too much.
Are you tired? Can’t possibly quit and take a nap? I’ll bet you’d stop if you got the swine flu. I’ll bet you’d stay home if your kid had a fever. No party absolutely has to have you in attendance. Go only if it brings you joy. If you’re too tired for intimacy and ecstasy, that’s your clue…you’re doing too much. Less is more. What are you celebrating? Do your loved ones feel loved? Do you rank near the top of your list as people to care for? Do you feel glory? Is there peace in your home? Get perspective — nap time is like a spiritual readjustment at the holidays. Turn the Christmas tree lights on, soften the music, put your feet up, cover with a warm blanket and rest.